Trasgenders, gays, and Paul Blazer, OH MY!

I suppose before you begin indulging into my stories and random outbursts you should know a bit about me. I live in a small town and have ambitions too big for this place (will talk more about later). I am a sophomore at a high school where I hang out with the greatest people I've ever met. My friends and I always manage to find ourselves in the middle of some big shenanigan. I'm on the academic team, and if that makes me a "nerd" then so be it. Maybe I like being different, though. I have my flaws: I make up pitiful excuses to get me out of things I don't want to do, I complain a lot, and I pout when I don't get my way, but I still am one great gal. But enough about that. Let's move on, shall we?
Today should have been a great day, could have been a great day, but was it a great day? NO! The academic team went on a voyage to the great county of Boyd to a meet. But before we even made it out of our home county the drama started. Our coach decided that it would be a good idea to leave the school before one of our teammates arrived to get on the bus. Of course we all pitched a fit, practically threatening the bus driver with hopes he would turn around. Unfortunately, we were stuck with the God-awfullest bus driver who blatantly refused to do so. After complaining how awful it was that we left him, the coach decides maybe she should find out where he was. I suppose she called his dad or something, but the next thing I knew was that we were on the shoulder of the road in a huge bus, mind you. We waited for what seemed like forever for the teammate we had abandoned. Once he boarded the bus, we asked him when he got to where the bus was supposed to leave. It turns out that if our not-so punctual coach would have waited for four more minutes we could have saved everyone a load of trouble. (Next time she's late, I vote we leave her.)
So, we went about our merry little (SLOW) journey and finally arrived at the church (go figure) where the meet was being held. Now I'm not one to judge, but it seems to me that transgenders and churches don't mix. Obviously a lot of people didn't get that memo. Of course the team who laughs at any and everything gets stuck with a boy-girl/girl-boy moderator the very first round. Thankfully the majority of the team was playing poker. Yes, in a church. It was so hard to sit there and take "it" seriously and answer without bursting into laughter. Throughout the day there were many a people whose gender could not be easily defined without looking at their "no-nos." Gay people also seemed to be abundant. Seriously guys, who called the circus to come? Gay people, transgenders, and PAUL BLAZER, oh my!
So, who in the heck is Paul Blazer? Who in the heck ISN'T Paul Blazer should be the real question. They had some people with the oddest names and I for one have every right to call names odd, considering my own. They were the team everyone was afraid of, and no one could really figure out why. They went through most teams like they were freshly baked apple pies at a weight watchers convention, but hey confidence is good, right? WRONG! I met some of the most overly-confident, pompous, turd faces today. There is no need to get all big-headed even if you have beat every team you played in one day. Those little devils were the only people we had lost to and after a few matches more we met them again. bum bum buuuummm. But this time...it was for the FINAL MATCH of dooooommmm. (cue lightning and thunder) They were all like "We've already beat them, it's a piece of cake." We, however, had a different thought in mind. We were more than determined to prove to them that we weren't just hicks from up the holler. The questions passed at a rapid rate. First, we were down by a lot. After a time out and a strict talking to (and persuasion in the form of donuts, of course) we were ready to fight to our deaths. Well, not quite, but you get what I mean. Our score went up, went up, went up, went up, and went up until we were finally on their tail-ends. They were afraid and kept complaining about how their buzzers just couldn't have been working. After proving to them that they were well-functioning and calling them many a name under our breath, we resumed. We kept the scored tied...for a while. Something happened, every answer, every hesitation seemed to be against us forhibiting us to win. Things got ugly, and they got ugly fast. We were almost caught up, almost tied, but in the last few questions the blazer kids got a "brain blast" as Jimmy Neutron would like to say. Needless to say, we lost. Sure we came in second place, but it would've been so much sweeter to have put them in their place. I guess I should just be thankful I know whether or not I am boy or girl and gay or straight. Stupid mo-fos. We wanted those donuts, and we wanted them bad. So on the way home, the dummy bus driver was forced to stop and let us purchase some. (We showed him!) We all ate our donuts and (slowly) traveled back home.