Running a race with no finish line.

So we've all been there. You know the point right when you think you've reached happiness, but then you come to a fork in the road and forget which route you're supposed to take? Well, if you're not familiar with this place I would be prepared to acquaint yourself with it...you'll end up there. That's the one thing I know for certain anymore. So, this whole blogging thing is kind of detrimental of the whole privacy thing, but at this point I just need it off of my chest. Let me update you, dear friend. Lately I have been really feeling, as the Veronica's put it ever so greatly, "untouched." Sometimes I even wonder if I matter to the one who matters most to me, to myself, to anyone really. Maybe that doubt caused this mess. Maybe if I thought I mattered I wouldn't matter and I wouldn't be where I stand now. I know, "Shut up crazy lady and please tell us the dagum story!"
So, let's just pretend (for the sake of privacy, of course) that this story is no longer about me. This story now is given to a girl by the name of Marigold. You see, Marigold had a boyfriend named Jim. Jim and Marigold had been going out for sometime but then things started to get a bit tense and Marigold didn't feel like she mattered at all to Jim. (Are ya with me so far?) Marigold turns to her best friends for comfort, particularly Charlotte and Randy (especially Randy, because he was just her go-to guy). Randy was the most laid-back person that Marigold had ever met. Randy hadn't a care in the world and need not impress a soul. Marigold admired Randy for that and aspired to be the same way. Jim started slowly edging Marigold away or so it seemed and she was breaking inside. Almost everyone could see that, except for Jim. Marigold still loved Jim more than the world even though he wasn't always there anymore. (Loves complicated, eh?) Jim started cutting conversations short, so Marigold would just call up Randy and laugh and talk nonsense. Marigold found comfort in Randy and felt better about her situation than she did before she turned to Randy. Then things got weird, Randy began acting like Jim in certain ways. Randy was slowly becoming distant and Marigold was frightened of losing her friend. Marigold decided that it would be a good time to have a talk with Jim and let her know how she was feeling. Jim came to talk with Marigold and when Marigold saw him she cried. She cried because she missed him, missed being loved, and missed the sheer happiness she used to be glistened with from head to toe. Marigold told Jim exactly how she was feeling and that she wanted things to change and that things HAD to change. She told him that he was the only person that had the capability to break her, but hoped he loved her more than to do that. He just looked at her with pleading eyes and was in disdain to see that he had hurt her so badly. Marigold hopes and hopes that Jim will make things better. But what Marigold didn't see is that Randy had been falling for her and was trying his very hardest to stray away from these feelings. Now Marigold stands looking down both roads looking as far as she can, but still not finding the answer to these conflicts. I wish I could tell you this story has a happy ending, but not even I know the ending yet.
C'EST LA VIE (that's life)